Where should I
start? Introducing myself maybe? No, you already know me pretty well... We’ve
been knowing eachother for over 3 years now. During all these years I’ve learnt
a lot ofthings about you, the world and myself as well.
We met as Na
Rae and Siwon. At that time you were still in a relationship with a girl who
later turned out to be a liar, a fake girl with fake feelings. At first none of
us knew she would be like that so I was supporting you two. I was trying to
convince her to stay whenever she wanted to leave and comfort you when you
needed someone... when you needed a shoulder to cry on, to lean on I was there.
As time went by (intentionally or not) I slowly fell for you. You could always
cheer me up, you were always there for me when I had horrible days at school,
when I was afraid of my exams, when mom was b*tching about something (she still
does that a lot lol), when I simply needed a few nice words... you were there
right by my side.
Then you left... left me behind because that girl who was
supoosed to love you lied. You were broken and I couldn’t heal your heart. No
matter how hard I’ve been trying or how strong my love for you was I just
couldn’t help at all so you left. Deactivated all your accounts and left me for
long months... but as I promised I stayed there and waited for you. I’ve been
waiting for you all along because I missed the one who gave me the brightest
smile noone could before, the one who gave me butterflies, who gave me so much
to remember.
Then one day, out of the blue I got a notification about your
new post. I didn’t know if I should smile or cry so I did both because I
couldn’t have been happier, you were finally back, you were part of my life
again. I said I don’t love you anymore but that was clearly a lie, I couldn’t
get over you no matter how much I tried... and after a while you realized it
too. We finally became a couple. Even though it was only a secret relationship,
it still made me happier than nothing or noone
else did before. I was loved by the man I cherished the most, who meant
my whole world.
But... I was too blind to realize I was the only happy one. You
were suffering beside me, you had to search for happiness at other places... in
other girls’ beds and arms. With each passing day we’ve been drifting more and
more apart and before I could do anything you were already in love with someone
else or... should I say it was like that the whole time? You’ve been loving
someone who was taken, someone who never had thoughts of loving you as a man,
someone who only saw you as a friend.
I was always by your side, always tried my best to cheer you up,
to make you feel better, to... make you fall for me but I failed. Not only
because I don’t look like her or like your ideal woman but because I was
lacking a lot of things just like I still do.
I really wish
things were different. Maybe if I confessed earlier or haven’t said that white
lie about my feelings then... maybe we would be still together. Maybe I’d still
have a chance to be happy with the man I truly, wholeheartedly love. I really
wish we could be ’a thing’ again but seems like it won’t happen ever again. You
always have a crush on girls who don’t know how to appreciate what they have,
who don’t know how to treat you well or how to show you the great parts of
being in love... you’ve only seen the bad parts so far. If you let me I’d show
you everything, I could make you happy.
Anyways~ even if I do leave now I hope you won’t forget that
I’ll always care about you, think about you and... I’ll always love you because
there’s no another man who could replace you in my life. You’ve given me plenty
memories to remember, tons of butterflies and maybe a bit more tears than I
ever deserved but hey~ that’s fine because maybe, just maybe one day you’ll
turn my way, cross that invisible line and come to me.
Best of luck, babe.
Szeretlek, Jack.
xoxo,
Your
Mimi
