Feelings...

Okay. So, this isn’t a one shot, it’s a short “letter” about my feelings... feelings I’m afraid to accept and reveal. For almost 18 years I had a calm life without these emotions. I’m afraid of my own feelings I have for you... I don’t want to be that kind of person whom I always hated and despised!

I had a really nice “pink bubble” which protected me from everything. I never ever opened it for anybody... until I met someone I thought I should let in. But nowdays I regret it so many times I can’t even count.

I’m hurt because this person can’t be with me, because I always hurt “its” feelings, because I can’t be the perfect friend. I’ve been trying really hard to change but I just can’t! I wanted to leave you but you won’t let me!

I told you to leave me so you can have a better life, you can have more friends who are not as far from you as me, who you can rely on... but you kept saying you need me.

However I don’t really feel like you need me. I’m a crybaby, a selfish girl who always makes you sad, who can never make you happy... I’m sorry, that’s all I can say right now.

“I’m such a lacking person,

I couldn’t see your pain,

I figured it out too late...”

“My heart is so weary now,

If I take one step closer

It causes us more pain...”

“I scream silently,

I laugh without notice

Standing behind you

Don’t go, don’t go

I swallowed the words...”